Yo. hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii its me kasy? yeeeh course who else wud it beeee rama lama bang bang flash bang bingg banggggg ping ponggg ting tonggggg or somin like thatttttt unzip my bodi rip my heart outtttt '-' sooooo this weekend wasssssssssss FUN.. yeh.. sure so thurs n fri i had games n i got to catch more u no cus taylor was gonnna b gone this weekenddd for one day.. alright so im playin more etc n fridayy my sister overheard taylors gran n mom tlkin.. her gran asked why she wasnt catchin.. nn her mom said becus they're gettin me readi to catch for the weekend cus taylor wont b there.. as if to say.. kasy's backup.. like wtf? godddd that pissed me off like no other blah.. stupid assholes -.- but i caught the first game n we won 14-0.. then the second game taylor was back n what happened? i got sat out.. the ENTIRE game.. n we won 10-0.. blah.. assholes.. then my coach tlks to my gran n says that he wants me in the outfield cus i cn catch.. god damnit ima catcher for fucks sake -.- not an outfielder.. *mumbles* then the next day.. i start out rite? in the outfield.. and what happens.. what what???????? u guessed it.. i got sat out in the middle of the game..... stupid sons of bitchessssssssssssssssss grrrrrr.. n we won 4-2.. it was so hot n humid that day.. horrible.. then we had foreverr till we played again.. n we went round shoppin n stuff which was boring too lol my friend kesha went along so it wasnt as bad.. but wen we got bk i went to warm up before our game and u know what happend?... Cherish.. another pitcher who thinks her shit don't stink wants to warm bri up, our main pitcher.. cus cherish used to b a catcher.. n kirk, our coach, tells her to get some equip ya no.. n she comes bk wearin my catchers helmet n shin guards.. god that pissed me off.. i mean my bro bought that for me it wasnt for ne one to use -.-.. dumb bitch.. but yeh.. after we warmed up again i went over behind the dug out we was gonna av n kirk came up to me n said i was playin first base.. n the reason for me sittin on the bench so much was becus i played a lot thurs n fri.. WHAT THE FUCK??????????? THEY put me in so i could PRACTICE and then he goes and uses it against me?? godddddddddddddddddddddd gah.. i hate em -.-.. we lost that game.. 6-1... we played adams.. very good team :\ n we sucked it up ne way.. plus bri was sick n the ump had a shitty strike zone.. but yeh we got third place in the tourny.. n now i have nothinnnn for the week cept prac on thurssss so i get lotsa time wi lauraaaaa aww each day this weekend i came homee n slept wi her a lil n then tlked to her till 3am n stufff awww heh was great n after readin her mindsay i told her how i felt n stuff.. n we both feel the same .. she wants me to goto college ere but i dunno still.. im so blah.. i jus wanna b wi her.. i think if we visited n stuff itd b easier for me to decide.. mite not b so hard if my mom wasnt so against us too.. i cnt even let my mom know im with her.. i feel so horrible having to hide it.. i hate it.. but its the onli way i cn be wi her :\ tears me up wen i cnt speak bout her in the way i feel.. i feel odd tlkin bout her too .. cus i hid it from my mom that i even spoke to her again :\ i avoid it wi my mom.. i tlk bout her to my sis thou blahhhhh ne wayyy i think thats about alll shes at her grans tonite.. meh i miss her.. :\ but its cus i went swimmin so yeh ill see her soon thouuuu but thats all for meeeeeeeeee wooooooooossssshhhhhh

~Kasy

Hellooooo my lovely mindsayersss how b u today? welllll thats good lol soooo itsssss thursday nite n im wornnn outtttt, went to a game n actually got to catch.. batted like shit but did a gd job playin lol avin a prob wi my wrist frommmm an old injury but im goodddd it was so windy n dusti, took a shower rite away '-' sooooo oh oh word of advice to all u sports ppls...

Don't get drunk the night before an event.

seriously.. i was light headed n soooo dehydrated lol sucked assssss buttttttt recent news rite.. wellll my brother went bk to texas this last weekend, dun member if i said that alreadi.. was the last time ill see him until he gets bk from iraq.. if he gets bk :\.. cudnt imagine what id b like or do if he died.. ne wayy he wontttt cussss hes kool n stuff lol.. i watched an old family video.. it was christmas of 2003, waaay before i had braces anddd first year i was wi laura, i wudda been wi her for a few months i blieve '-' on the vid u cn see that i had the cam n i goto my grandpas face.. who died a few years ago.. think 1 or 2 not too sure.. n all u see is him wi this cheeky smile on it n then i zoom into his eye n its so odd cus everything goes quiet at that moment.. i miss him.. softball isnt the same without himmmmm he used to love to watch me play lol and the nachos '-' he used to gimmie $5 for every homerun or good play i had '-' he also loved me playin the drums.. i still feel bad thou.. the last time i spoke or saw him was a day i think it was round easter or xmas or a birthday or somin n i was pissed off that day n i always ALWAYS gave him a hug n said thank u n stuff n that i loved him.. hesss in a wheel chair etc but that day i stormed out without even sayin goodbye.. i felt like such a bitch, :\ n that was the last time i ever saw him again.. kinda makes ya think dun it? maybe we shud treat each day like its our last.. but if we did that it'd b a constant worry etc.. wudnt b as fun.. i dunno i jus think we shud live life to the fullest.. try n be who we want, and do whatever it is in life that we love to do.. whether its drinkin a partying or building computers, saving lives, or standing up to the law '-' life is too short to jus drift away.. do what u guys want.. make it urs.. u onli have one '-' heh my inspirational words

In other newssssss me and laura are goodddd we had a minor fallin out today but that was my fault (as usual) lol buttt i soon came to my senses lol n alls well. rite nowwww ima wake her, heh i missed her so much today. i wishhhh she cud see my games.. i think she wudda came n sat by me or somin wen i was sittin on the bench.. i hate the fact that ima back up catcher all cus i didnt play last year :\.. but yeh laura wud make me feel good.. n wen i hurt my hand shed of rubbed it '-' n i know shed b there cheerin me onnn.. i love softball.. n i love her... its hard havin one wi out the other, dun get me rong id drop softball in a heartbeat to b wi her '-' but everything wud b better if she cud b there ya no?  i dunno if shell ever get to see me play.. if she comes this summer ill prolly b done by then.. and im not sure if ill play next year.. whatever happens ima try n get as many pics n vids for her as i can   maybe ill even post some on ereeee lol '-' wudnt that b jus amazin yeh rite.. ne wayyyy im updatin this just for herrrr cus shes been wantin me too soooooo good nite to u allllll and have a great weekend wooooooshhhhhhhhhh

~Kasy

Soooooo how many of you have played the sims? *watches as millions of hands go up* oh yes.. u kno u av.. and u all kno uve been hooked on it at least once in ur life... wellllll im hooked on it, not jus cus i like bein a millionaire wi looooaaaaaadsaaaaaaa stuff and like creatin my own life n char n stuff butttt ive actually based it on my life.  me and lauraa created a house together ourr dream house heh its amazin.. 300,000 thou gonna be saving a while to make that en '-' wee're in love on thereeee n im going by her name n we go out to eat and on vacation heh its amazin i made my moms family and my brother.. so far and ive created a very very close replica of my current house, forrr my mom and sister to live it.. its pretty accurate '-' n jus some random house for my brother since i dunno what his looks like lol.. ima do lauras familyyy nn stuff.. its fun to play in my spare time cuss it reminds me of her so much '-' n our future n stuff.. im not addicted.. its jus fun at the moment heh, awwww i wish she cud stay home from college today i miss her loadssss her stayin at her grans is terribleeee its so borin wi out her n i miss her terribly raaaaaar i juss wish i cud b there wi her..

Tonite we had a lil falling out :\ sucked.. first time in a while since.. nn we're sposed to drink tonite n stuff but raaar i dunno i realli wanna drink wi her since ive said i wud many many times i jus dun want her to get upset n stuff buttt hopefully today will b better god i miss her.. wish shed come bk alreadiiii n i wish she didnt av schoooolllll maybe ill ask her to stay home '-' ah she wont lol.. bleh..

Raaaaaarrrrr theresssss killer mosquitossssss that how ya spell it? EVERYWHERE.. hideeeee hideeeee for ur own lifeeee dun let em get yaaaaa ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! k so maybe im exaggeratin a lil lol.. but them things r lethal.. butttt i dun av much more to sayyy ceptttt ooooh this weekend i ava tourny that ima b catchin a full day for.. onli cus taylors gone but grr.. n last weekend we got second in the tourny i didnt goto.. they lost to the same team that we lost to in the tourny before.. the belles ppls lol what a shame '-' my game tuesday against the other fairbury team was canceled cus they didnt av enuf girls that cud b thereeee nnnn so i ava game thursday in geneva fun fun.. avnt played softball in aaaaaaages, my brotherr went bk to texas yesterday.. hes a sgt in the army n is goin to iraq for the third time in september.. cud b the last time i ever see him again but yeeeeeh thats all so ima leave it at thatttt woooooooshhhh

~Kasy

Righttttt sooooo now aboutttt yesterday, wellll we had a game at 10:40am n we won that gameee but for some reason i dun member the score i dunno but it was 6- somin we played the hastings team i tlked about in the other blogs.. ne way at the beginnin of that game i sat out.. then was put in as catcher.. nnn then the next game i started as catcher n tayler was in left fieldddd then half way thru he took me outta the game n let taylor catch.. that pissed me off cussss im oldest -.- im so tired.. ne wayyy but we lost that game.. 7-2 so we got secondddd i came homeee n bitched to my mom for an hour..who cudnt make it to my last game in the tourny... cus she stayed out to late the nite before bleh.. then uses the excuse she needs to study for some test blah.. swear i jus heard somin from lauras mic.. bleeeeh ne way yesterday i got home bout 5ish n laura was gone at her granssss n blaaaah i felt so aloneeeee i went n rented gridiron gang n 3 games for the xbox.. the movie was real good actually nnnn i got tony hawks project 8 which ive almost beattttt n sims bustin out or somin n mortal kombat.. jus so my sis cn play some games cus she was gonna whine lol.. todayyyy i talked to laura till bout 1:50ishh n she went to her grans again awh i miss herrrrrrrr im avoiding sleepin cus i dun like sleepin alone lol oh oh.. myspace pissed me off too.. i was gonna show my brother my html skills yeah? wennnnn the coding was messed up.. somehow it added some table that was sposed to b hidden.. n its nvr had it there before so i dun understand.. myspace ppls need to stop changin their code rules n stuff becus its gettin annoyin.. they made it so my music code wudnt work either.. n i made an entire div profile that took agesssss n i still nvr finished it.. well i wonder why now myspace ppls jus keep messin it up.. i swear ima put it as jus the normal profile.. bleeeeh.. n last nite i felt sick like i had said.. i think it was the chilli :\ my gran was sick too.

Todayyyy i didnt goto my gameeee becus im tired of sittin on the bench n i knew no one wudda wanted to go either.. so i told the coach i was sick.. i ava game thursday against the same team so i dunno.. one of these days ima go n jus accidently "forget" my catchers equipment... then wen he tells me i cn catch ima b like.. ooh.. well i left it at home seeing as how tayler catches two games n stuf at tournies i thought shed catch the 2 games for our double header.. assholessssss raaaaar.. butttt i think thats enuf for an updateeeee ima goo email laura now '-' cnt wait for her to get homeeeeee wooooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh goneeeeeeeeeeeeeee

~Kasy

raaaaaaar soooooo hiiiiiiiii welllll we had our championship game todayyy nnn we lost :\ so we got second in the tourny.. i feel kinda sick :\ so ima watch a movie n lay downn n ill add a bigger update later.. i miss laura ..

~Kasy

hellooooooo my lil chickitiessss howw are u all? yes yes amazin lol welllllll jus got thru wi a day of softball.. im sunburned and tireddd n i felt so dirty lol we won all three games.. first en wass 4-0 which i sat out on the bench the first half .. which was oki since i was late cus my uniform was finishin dryinggg the second game was 8-0 nnn i played left field.. which.. was okay i suppose.. third game we won 9-1 n i sat on the bench first half then went in as catcher.. its pissing me off that my coach is makin me a back up catcher.. im not a back up grrr n im sittin on the bench more than the otherssss alllll cus i skipped softball last year *mumbles* stupid ppplllll awww but today was great.. after my first game i came homee n tlked to laura n erm.. well lol yeah it was amazinnnn awwww shes so sweet n makes me feel secure.. i cn b myself around her n even thou after so long im still shy.. shes tryin to help me break it '-' i gotta trust her n believe what she says wen she says im beautifulllll n that she thinks im the most gorrrrrgeous person lol awww bless.. i love her so mucccccchhhhh u no i kinda like this thing better than myspace.. its like a journal.. lol although random n strange ppl may read it.. but its like a journal for me n lauraaaa cusss its mine n her thing u no? yeeeh course u do myspace is for my other friendss

It'ssssss 10:04pm n i told laura id b no later than 10 buttttt im updatin this so i think she'll b a lil happier.. plus ima onli b a few mins longerrrrrr sooooooo roar she cn deal with it aww i wanted to sleep wi her earlier but i had so much to dooooo i hadd toooo

1. Wash my uniform for tomorrow oh n get the gum outta my shorts ... stupid kids n their gum on the bleachers....

2. Get food for my dad and get ice

3. Wash my brothers car since i had said i wud for bout 4 days now

4. get mine and dariens food

5. eat the foooooddd n watched some of jackass 1..

6. got in the showerrrrr n put my clothes in the dryerrrr

7. finally readi to sleep

i gottttaaaa wake up at 8:30 at the latest.. but ima wake up round half 7 i think so i cn tlk to lauraaa or maybe 7 who knowssss tomorrow is the championshipssss we either playyy crete, which we beat 4-0 orrrr the belles which we beatt 9-1 orrr the lil j's.. which is the other Fairbury 16 and under team.. we've always had rivalry wi them :\ n it always seems like we lose.. buttt this year i think we're the better team.. i mean they played the belles n onli won 6-0 n we won 9-1 soo i suppose thats an advantage.. i dunnoooo i jus hope if we play em we do betterrrrrr wellllll i think thats alllllll i cnt wait to goto sleep wi laura sooo ima end this en pretty quickk woooooshh have a gd nite allllll *poofs*

~Kasy

Hello, it's been years, literally, since ive updated this last. Laura wanted me to so ima start using it again.. i spose theres some more for u all to know about me.. First off a lil somin to make u think im clinically insane or somin.. my name isnt caleb.. n i'm not a guy. My name is Kasy n im 17 years old n female, i am currently with my girlfriend who lives in england. I myself live in the united states. I lied about who i was for many years becus of the fact that i hated my real self.. at first i liked being someone else.. n then i met laura.. i fell in love. I know many of u are thinkin "you cnt fall in love over the net" or "your to young to fall in love etc" but thats not true.. its very possible to fall in love over the net.. my mom hates who i am.. she hates that i have feelings for a girl n she hates me even saying i love laura.. she even d/ced my net becus of it and tried to make me not tlk to her.. i dunno how i cn convince my mom that how i feel is real.. n that this is wat i want n what i am.. she thinks its just a phase n that like many other ppl "u cnt fall in love over the internet" they're wrong thou.. even thou you can't physically touch the other person u talk to them all the time.. ur forced to say ur feelings n everything so they know, u have a cam and a mic n u cn hear and see them, and i'm sorry but ive seen laura enuf on cam etc to know shes not lyin bout what she looks like.. theres no way possible.. n the same wi me n her. Anyway i fell in love wi her.. n it started to hurt to b someone else.. she didnt know my name.. didnt even know what i had looked like since i didnt have a cam n i jus found pics off the net.. i even had nightmares of when i met her n her hatin me.. then the fact that i was a girl jus kinda made it seem impossible. One day i told her thou.. i told her who i was, my name i gave her a pic n i expected her to leave me.. she didnt thou.. she stuck wi me.. since then ive done some horrible things.. ive cheated n lied to her.. in fact we just got over.. well i dunno bout over but we jus had a situation where she said we were done.. she didnt blieve that i loved her n everything.. i've never cried that much in my entire life.. i felt sick.. i didnt want her to go.. all i cud do was tell her i loved her n that i wudnt do ne thing again.. n after i had lied so many times she doesnt blieve me ne more..

You see, i've been with laura for many years now n we still havnt met.. ima graduate high school soon n shes almost done wi her college.. n after that i plan on movin over there... i dunno what i feel rite now.. i mean i know i love her n im not sayin i dunno what i feel about her.. im jus sayin i dunno if im happy or sad.. i jus feel like shit.. so much shit.. feel like i cud jus fall asleep n pass away.. at the end of the nite she asked me to marry her... just outta no where.. i said yes.. i cnt tell u how that made me feel, i felt relaxed n happi, yet sad becus of what we had jus tlked about.. n i cudnt blieve it.. but i said yes.. n she promised she wudnt leave me n said that she needed me n i promised id nvr leave n that i needed her too.. we need each other.. no matter how much we think we might not, we do.. we make each other a better person. ima need to do a lot to make everything up to her n i know i cn do it.. i love her so much.. the other day i read thru all my old blogs on here.. n i think every single one is about her.. i'll make it up to her.. i know i will.. right now im listenin to her sleep.. i was sleepin wi her n i got up to goto the bathroom then thought i'd update this cus she wanted me too.. but im going to go lay back down with her.. so i guess this is my coming back blog.. just thought id explain some of whats going on with me.. n yes i know.. ima crazi lil person :\

soooo here i am updatin my blog forr laura.. i wudnt do it but she asked me too.. and well now i have to lol.. todayyyy was an odd yet happy day... beginning was a lil bad.. my stubborness mixed with hers wasn't too gd.. but we worked it out andd im glad.. cus i love to talk toooo herrrr n spend time with her.. even if it is for a lil moment of time.. i mite not like it at that point in time n ill want more time n complain.. but i always enjoy every minute with her.. cept arguing.. i hate to argue, i hate being around arguements butt ive grown up around em.. wi my mom n dad n step dad.. ahh bleh sucks, on my way home from hastings, oh btw we won our game laura heh.. but on the way home i was listenin tooo black eyed peas - don't phunk with my heart.. andd these lyrics stuck out to me

"Why are you so insecure
When you got passion and love her
You always claimin' I'm a cheater
Think I'd up and go leave ya
For another senorita
You forgot that I need ya
You must've caught amnesia
That's why you don't believe

Don't you worry 'bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby"

anddddd yeah.. that jus sorta reminded me of u.. cuss u think i dont like ya or will b digusted by somin n go wi some hotter girl or somin like that wen i wonttttt cuss i love u.. n u got me by a string '-'.. cnt blieve im admitting that.. sooooooo thissssssss issss for laura, the girl i love so much that it hurts sometimes.. updated it for u love ya

~caleb